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Post by dopeman on Aug 18, 2012 17:04:26 GMT -5
Hello and welcome to another episode of Doctor Dopeman!
Tonight we have some new redneck idoits... I mean new people in need, here on my show to discuss their problems and hang-ups!
We also have some thoughtful thoughts from me, your host!
So lets begin!
*applause*
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Post by dopeman on Aug 18, 2012 17:18:16 GMT -5
Think about this. You know that you are in a book and you know you are in a book. You know the reader enjoys to read your book, and emphathizes with your trials and hardships. You know that they what to change things to make them better for you but they can't because they can't change the story. Now tell me, how is the reader any different from God?
For if God wishes to change things but cannot? Then he is omniscient.
If he has the power but cannot see us? Then he is ignorant.
If he knows and has the power but does nothing? Then he is malevolent.
Think about it.
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Post by Silent on Aug 18, 2012 20:56:36 GMT -5
Breaking the fourth wall like a boss!!!
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Post by dopeman on Aug 19, 2012 9:58:07 GMT -5
Hello and welcome to another episode of doctor Dopeman! Here with us today we have a couple of idiots, er, I mean a COUPLE, who are having marital problems!
So let us welcome Julie onto the stage!
*Applause*
Hello Julie, now tell me, what's wrong today?
Julie: Mah Husband can't handle his punchs like a man! He's always a'crying and a'moaning like a little bitch! I want him to man up!
Ah yes this is a common problem with some men in a certain age group. I believe it is called lackus scrotumus. Now tell me, who is hitting your husband?
Julie: Me 'cause he won't do what I damn well tell him!
Uh-huh, uh-huh, I see. So let's call out Julie's Husband John-Paul!
*Applause*
Hi there John-Paul no tell me about yourself.
John-Paul: Please help me! This crazy bitch isn't my wife! She just kidnapped me and put a shock collar on me! She beats me all the time and I can't escape! Please help me, please!
I see. Well John-Paul all I can say is if you didn't want this type of commitment DON'T SLEEP WHERE SHE CAN CATCH YOU!
*Applause*
John-Paul:B-B-But.....
I can see your problem Julie. Now what you need to do is throw this man away and get yourself a better one, preferably one that's better able to take a punch. Now if he can you'll probably need to invest in a better shock collar, got it?
Julie: Yes sir.
Now i'll just take this man off your hands...
John-Paul: Oh thank you God!
...And get rid of him!
*Throws John-Paul out nearby window*
John-Paul: Oh God I'm 7 storeys up! Ahhhhhhhhhh........
*Splat*
*Applause*
*Dopeman dusts his hands*
Well that's about all the time we've got this week! Tune in next time for more heart to hearts, insightful insights and solved problems with doctor Dopeman! Goodbye!
*Applause*
*Outtro Credits and theme song*
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Post by dopeman on Aug 21, 2012 14:56:12 GMT -5
Where there is life there is hope they say.
So tell me, where there is death, must there be despair?
We are, i mean YOU are, fragile beings, born sleepwalking and mindlessy trudging towards the abyss. However, life spawns in death just as death brings life, the cycle never ends and your legacy lives on.
Think about it.
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Post by dopeman on Sept 6, 2012 16:20:48 GMT -5
Emotions are an important part of life.
Anger makes life survivable.
Sadness makes life realistic.
Hatred makes life unbearable
and love and joy make life worth living.
Think about it.
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